Saturday, May 06, 2006

My Daily Struggle

This blog is intended to keep my accountable to my spiritual growth. It is not uncommon for me to discover a spiritually fulfilling tool, idea, book, resource, etc. that keeps me interested for a period of time before I lose interest. Other times I simply forget to practice that which I've learned.

Today's challenge for me is negativity. My initial reaction to many people and situations is to judge - often negatively. I'm always sizing things up trying to determine a ranking: "Am I better than this person or are they better than me?" "Do I like what's going on here?" "Do I like what's being said?"

All of this judging is ego. I'm trying to determine how fulfilled my ego is in daily circumstances. I talk a good talk about "going with the flow" and "recognizing that we're all equals in the spirit" until my mind starts thinking. The result is that I put up barriers between me and others and between me and a better life. My life is good by many accounts, but I get in the way of my own potential.

Today my work is to not judge anything that is going on, accept that everything that is happening is for a reason (even if it makes me feel uncomfortable), and don't let my mind turn to negative thinking. All easier said than done. I must recognize that I will not do it perfectly. It is about small improvements over time.

Today's Spiritual Exercise: Prayed in the morning, did morning meditation, showed more kindness to than usual to strangers and especially my family. There was some resistance to these activities, but I overcame it.

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