First Arrow is Pain, Second Arrow is Suffering

Buddha says that the first arrow causes pain. The second arrow causes suffering.

Imagine you are hit by an arrow. Then you are given the option to either:
1) Acknowledge the pain fully, which will immediately lead to healing the wound
2) Make believe the arrow didn’t hurt/be angry that you were hit with the arrow at all, which will cause a second arrow to hit you.

Every time we encounter something we do not like these are the two options presented to us. We can either fully acknowledge the uncomfortable feeling (which allows healing and growth to begin) or we can deny, resist, or avoid the feeling (which creates suffering on top of the original pain).

For some reason we think that if we say, “That doesn’t really bother me,” or “I shouldn’t really be feeling this way,” we’ll be able to move beyond the situation that caused us to make these statements. Yet, we only prolong the negative emotion. This prolonging is suffering on top of the pain. If we simply acknowledge that we were hurt and accept the pain, then the pain will heal.

Is something troubling you now? If so, write down your answers to the following questions…
--What is it that is troubling you?
--Can you label the feeling(s) (e.g., anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, shame, guilt, or pain)?
--Can you allow yourself seven minutes to fully feel the feeling or feelings that you identified?