My Own Judgments

I’ve worked hard to recognize that I have no control or influence other people’s judgments of me. To paraphrase the title of a popular book, “The opinions others have of me are none of my business.”

And although I know I also should not judge others, somehow I retain the belief that my judgments have value. My judgments reveal important insights into others, provide me with key information, and allow me to assess interactions. However, I recently realized that if other people judgments of me are unimportant, my judgments of them must necessarily be equally unimportant. My ego likes to believe that my judgments have relevance, but the truth is that my judgments hold no more weight than any other person’s judgments. If I am to disregard other people’s judgments of me, then I also should disregard my judgments of others. Instead I should encounter each person (even those I know well) with an open mind secured in the knowledge that I lack sufficient information to really know someone enough to judge them. After all, I’ve known my wife well for over 14 years and she still continues to surprise and amaze me in ways I never could have anticipated.

Ceasing judgment means giving up the fantasy that I have all of the answers. By not having all the answers I create enough room in my mind to see the miracles of the Universe working all around me rather than shrinking my experiences to fit within my limited perspective.