Stopping the Internal Dialogue

My internal dialogue (aka, ego) is always running, it's always analyzing. If feels good on some level because it seems when interacting with others I can make the necessary adjustments to what I'm saying or how I'm acting in order to feel good about myself. "Oh man, what I just said was stupid." "Okay, I'm handling this well." "I don't need to pay attention to this person because they're a [fill in the blank]." "Make sure people walk away thinking that I really know what I'm talking about."

Up until recently I believed such thoughts helped me be the person I want to be. I thought they helped me respond to situations accordingly and to portray the image I want conveyed. I thought it was part of taking a personal inventory, so I can be a better person. Hence, I believed my internal dialogue was an asset.

But, I recently became very aware that most of my internal dialogue is negative. I'm either thinking negative thoughts about me or I'm thinking negative thoughts about other people. I realize that it is hard to be joyful in life when I have so many negative thoughts running through my mind. Further, my negative thoughts about myself are not accurate and my negative thoughts about others are really just defense mechanisms--when I get right down to it. And since the thoughts are essentially meaningless anyway, all of those negative thoughts are a HUGE waste of energy. Not to mention that other thoughts are unable to enter my mind when I'm on some rant about me or someone else in my own head.

Without the internal dialogue (I say this in relative terms, not absolutes - I still have negative thoughts, but I'm aware of them and can turn them off more easily), I find I'm more creative. Things just come to me now. For example, the thought for a new business venture came during a period of no internal dialogue. And my memory is a little better because I don't have to cut through the weeds of my negative thinking to recall bits of information.

The other side of this is that I am replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. For instance, whenever I see or speak to someone in my mind I think, "I wish you love, laughter, happiness, and joy." Doing so automatically changes my demeanor while reducing anxiety and has resulted in some truly amazing interactions. Plus, it is hard to have negative judgments about someone right after wishing them good things.

I've been blown away by the benefits that come from stopping the internal dialogue and wishing others love, laughter, happiness, and joy.