Don’t Push My Buttons
Are there people in your life who know exactly how to push your buttons? They can instantly get you angry, annoyed, frustrated, etc. by barely even trying. Sometimes it is as though they take pleasure in driving us crazy.
We try to hide those buttons or pretend they don’t exist, but they’re always found again. However, there is a solution: Rewire those buttons. If the person (let’s say your spouse) says something that would normally really get you, rather than reacting as you always do when that button is pushed make a decision that the button is rewired to get the new result of your spouse getting a gentle kiss on the cheek. If there is a button that results in you getting embarrassed, rewire it so that the new outcome is a hug for the person who pushed it. If someone at work always knows exactly how to get you, rewire that button with a response of, “I’m getting a cup of coffee, may I get you one too?”
We ultimately choose how we’re wired and we choose whether or not we’re going to keep the wiring as it has always been. If there is someone in our life who takes sick pleasure in pressing those negative buttons, we need to acknowledge the fact that we make a choice to let those buttons activate the same response time and time again. We can stop allowing those buttons to operate any time we’re ready.
posted by David Treanor @ 9:26 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I remember when Sonny and Cher split up that Cher never missed an opportunity to bash Sonny. When someone on a talk show asked Sonny how he felt about Cher's bashing, his reply was, "She does it because she's still in love with me."
Most of the time when people behave badly towards us, they are operating out of their own unresolved issues. We feel the sting of their behavior, but we don't have to accept it as ours.
I have been practicing stepping back from situations and have found it very effective. I recently arranged a family vacation. It is a family cruise for 23 people. Quite an undertaking but the kind of things that I love to do. About 5 months after the arrangements were made, someone apparently called my mother to complain about the arrangements. My mother reacted to this complaint by telephoning me to demand that I call the travel agent to change the arrangements.
At first, I was pretty ticked off by the demand and the complaint. My buttons had gotten pushed and I was set to react.
Instead, my response to my mother was to say that whoever needed a change in his or her accommodations was welcome to call the travel agent him/herself and make whatever changes they desired. My mother didn't like this response and tried pushing the guilt button to make me call the travel agent.
I decided to do nothing and slept on it. When I next spoke to my mother 24 hours later, it turned out that there was no problem, everyone was happy, including my mother.
I don't think I will ever really know what had gone on, but instead of having my buttons pushed and reacting to my mother's telephone call, I backed off and let the universe resolve the problem, which it did.
My buttons will always get pushed by the people who know best how to push them, but my response is what's really important. I always have the option of taking a step back, counting to ten or sleeping on any given situation.
I would call this the practice of the spiritual law of least effort. By doing less and not being engaged in other people's insanity, more is accomplished and I am definitely more peaceful.
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